Fix Problems, Not Blame

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”–Wayne Gretzky

One of my worst pet peeves is having to listen to people who habitually complain about the state of their life, but never take any action to improve it. I’m not talking about ordinary venting and grousing, the sort of blowing off steam that we all engage in to keep our sanity. I’m referring to people who live in misery and defeat, and won’t take the opportunities that are presented to them. Sometimes it’s an issue of fear; their lives may be unhappy, but they’re predictable and safe. They may fear failure, either because they’ve experienced a lot of it and don’t want to go through that pain again. Maybe they’ve never had to face failure, and feel they’ve reached their level of incompetence. Maybe they’re suffering from depression, addiction, or other problems, but in their lucid moments choose to remain in their downward spiral rather than seek (or accept) help.

Understand, I have the utmost compassion for these people. They hurt my heart, because they have so much potential and yet every day they make a conscious decision to waste it. It’s not that I’m unwilling to help, but they first have to admit that they need help, and have to be ready to help themselves and get out of the hole they’re in. Yet the complaints… if you are unwilling to take control of your own life, you forfeit the right to complain about the direction it takes.

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