Back between the first and second issue, I told Patreon backers that I was going to give HUBRIS: The Journal of Cultural Horror a six-issue commitment. After that I’d re-evaluate. If it was selling well, I’d keep going. If it was only selling okay, but I felt it was having some sort of impact based on the feedback I received, I’d keep going. As long as I had something worthwhile to say, was getting some pleasure out of doing it, and it nourished my creative soul (yeah, I just said that, barf), I’d keep going.

Meh.

No, seriously. It’s selling okay, but I could make more money doing something else. Or I could forgo the little bit of extra money and take a nap once in a while. I know exactly what the problem is, too. It’s a walled garden. I want to say what I want to say, to people who will appreciate it, without risking some dish-pit (misspelled on purpose) harassing me or making death threat or engaging in some other time-wasting stupidity. It’s not a bold move on my part.

For this, again, I could be writing in my journal.

I’m not going to get into why I have taken an overly-cautious approach to the subject matter broached within the pages of the zine. Here’s a hint, though: It ties into the reasons why I’m currently burned out, and more specifically, the grief I’ve gotten for being snarkier than usual because I am burned out. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Forgive me for working through some things via my blog.

I eagerly await the crap I get for the title of this post.

Anyway, this is my long, rambling, burned-out way of saying that issue 5 came out last week, and I knew that I had to make a decision. Stop after 6, or keep going? The way my mind works, I’d have to pick it up for another 6. Do at least a full year. I could also drop back to bi-monthly (as in every-other month, not twice a month), or quarterly. Less than quarterly we’re talking about an annual, and for an annual we might as well be talking about a book, and suddenly this is a completely different project, so, no.

I’m pulling the plug after issue 6.

There. I put it in bold so the people just skimming the article and otherwise not giving a crap what else I have to say can find it.

This will let me spend more time working on the game stuff, which is what pays the bills. If I want to talk about religion and politics, I can do so allegorically. Hopefully in a less heavy-handed fashion than I did in the overtly political game that I wrote. Which I also feel that I choked on, and didn’t go far enough with, because, again, trolls and death threats.

I really just want to create things and be left alone.

2 thoughts on “Little-Known Ways to Murder Your Creative Soul

  1. I have feels about this. I’ll come back and explain.

  2. For what it’s worth, I will miss HUBRIS, though I understand perfectly your choice. Thanks for this project. It helped me come out of my self-imposed plexiglass cage, where I was seeing the world go to shit but doing nothing about it. HUBRIS has also inspired me to tackle these subjects in my own blog, and perhaps a quarterly publication where I take those posts and expand them with further content. So, you know, you did that, HUBRIS did that. I think it’s a good feather for your cap. Thank you.

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