One of the self-care tips I see a lot advises you to listen to your favorite music. That’s weird for me, because of the way music is tied to memory. I have a lot of bad ones. There are bands and songs and albums and even specific songs that I adore, but hearing them makes me wince. They take me to a time and place where not everything was bad, necessarily, but I don’t want or need to revisit. The music saved me, but at the cost of forever ruining that music for me.
It’s because I’ve always used my favorite music to get me through rough spots that this happens. This band got me through a horrible job. That singer helped me survive a difficult living situation. A stack of albums saw me through a rough breakup. Now that music is forever linked to those circumstances for me. It is tainted. The karmic residue of agony and loss never goes away.
This doesn’t just apply to music for me, either. There are movies, television shows, and novels that are just as emotionally radioactive for me. It sucks.
Listen to Your Favorite Music
My current jam is the Funk! Channel on AccuRadio. It plays a lot of 1970’s stuff that was popular on Top 40 radio when I was a kid — The Commodores, Ohio Players, Curtis Mayfield, Earth Wind and Fire, and so on. It’s familiar because it was ubiquitous, but it’s not what I was into back then. I have no memories specifically associated with this music. Which is great! It’s upbeat and energetic, it’s really good, and I can just enjoy it without having painful flashbacks to awkward moments.
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