For the month of June I’m moving to a twice-weekly blogging schedule. Before that kicks off tomorrow I wanted to take a moment to touch base, and to let you know what to expect to see in this space going forward. This is the State of Berin, June 2018. My June 2018 Mission Statement I remain true to myself and my values no matter what happens. My June 2018 Vision Statement I am well-organized, maintain the right focus, and have the flexibility to handle unexpected changes. Old Business Following The Inevitable Crash™ at the end of March, I spent April getting excess obligations off of my plate. There were tasks that I didn’t need to be doing, and loose ends[…]

This isn’t one of those “Everyone look at me, I am leaving Facebook, weep for my forthcoming absence, listen to my list of grievances” dramatic exits that have become an annoying cliche. Quite the opposite, in fact. My decision to delete Facebook happened back in the middle of April, about six weeks ago. I didn’t say anything, didn’t tell anyone, just quietly left. Since then two people have noticed, or at least two people have bothered to say anything. I could use that fact to try to make a point, but why bother. You’ve heard it all before. Besides, this post isn’t really about Facebook. Life is an editing process. You keep what you want, make what you absolutely need[…]

This seems like a repeat of yesterday’s self-care tip (which itself felt like a repeat of the previous day’s tip), but I think there’s a fairly substantial difference. They’re two sides of the same coin, at the very least. You do have to reject other peoples’ definitions of self-care, but you can’t just leave a void. You need to create your own definition of self-care in order to be able to find a way forward. One of the questions I’ve been asked most frequently has been “What is self-care, anyway?”. Aside from the obvious “It’s taking are of yourself, duh!” answer, it’s kind of vague. Every human being has common needs — food, clothing, shelter, etcetera — but every person[…]

This might seem like a repeat of yesterday’s post, but it isn’t. You can reject someone’s specific self-care advice, but still agree with the general intent of the suggestion. Telling you that you need to drink more water when you already consume plenty, is a tip you can ignore. When you’ve already tried the quote-unquote normal self-care practices to no avail, you can largely dismiss them when you hear them for the umpty-thousandth time. Today’s advice is different in that you’re not ignoring the specifics, but rather rejecting the premise. You’ve got to reject other peoples’ definition of self-care if those people don’t understand your needs. For example, while there are overlaps between anxiety and depression, the thing that worked[…]

One of the best pieces of self-care advice that I can give is to ignore conventional self-care advice. In researching this month-long series I found a lot of repetition. There were tons of suggestions that boiled down to little more than common sense. Quite a few things were, due to the nature of the internet, either flat-out wrong or backdoor pitches to buy some sponsored goods or services. We all know that we need to get regular sleep. No one needs to tell us again that we should drink more water. Everyone faces the constant struggle to eat healthier food. Very few of us get as much exercise as we should, and we know this without having to continually be[…]