Here are two things that are true: I hate being sick, and I like money. There is a connection between the two, of course. One of the reasons I hate being sick is because I don’t make money when I’m not working. There’s also that whole thing about being able to pay for health care, which while being far less expensive in the Nordics than in the United States, still costs money. Yet there is also value to be wrung from sitting comfortably in quiet moments.
Right now Katie and I are both fighting some bug. On top of the seasonal affective disorder making me sleepy and my arthritis flaring up to make me achey, said bug is making me more sleepy and achey. I recognize that what I need is a little bit of downtime. As I get older, the definition of “a little bit” increases, but that’s reality. For a couple of decades I ended up with respiratory infections, bronchitis, and pneumonia because I wouldn’t or couldn’t take a little time off when the illness wasn’t that bad. It had to reach near-catastrophic levels before I, or my corporate overlords, would acknowledge that I couldn’t just push through it.
It also costs a lot less to lose a day now, than to lose a couple of weeks, plus the costs of a trip to the doctor, medication, and potential hopitalization. So for the sake of my finances and my long-term productivity, I’m taking a few days off.
There was supposed to be a book released this week. I’m still working on it. If I have a good day today, which means the arthritis pain isn’t too bad and I don’t nod off over my laptop, it might still go out today. Or tomorrow. Maybe next Tuesday, or sometime later next week. It’ll still happen. But I’m not going to kill myself over it.
While I do tend to stress over these self-imposed deadlines, I try to keep it in perspective. Not only with the health/productivity/cost balance, but with what I’ve actually promised to deliver. I haven’t taken anyone’s money for this book. It’s not like it’s vaporware that will never be released. I’m a one-person operation and I’m taking a beat. Compare this to the number of Kickstarter projects out there in the world that were fully funded. Often funded to the tune of oh my god that’s a lot of money. Projects that never delivered, or delivered less than was promised, or a months or years lat. Pfeh, me taking a couple of days off is nothing. Sitting comfortably in quiet moments it is.