When I get into a depression spiral, I know that it is a bad idea to blog. I am unable to write articulately about how I am feeling. A tendency to babble overtakes me. Things are written in haste, which I either regret or just end up taking down because upon reflection it seems embarrassing. I am functional today, at least more so than yesterday, but not to the point where I trust myself to pick up regularly scheduled topics in this space.
Other than checking messages and performing essential business-related tasks, I’m staying off the internet. I am completely avoiding the news until further notice. This is how I can still be productive. I wrote over 4,000 words yesterday, and when I went back and looked it over it wasn’t word salad. It seems that as long as I’m not dealing with anything personal or emotional I’m okay. This is great, because it means I’m not going to blow any deadlines.
Katie noticed that I felt warm, and I’m intermittently running a low-grade fever. It’s hard to tell if this is just a physical manifestation of the depression. I might be fighting something off, and that’s made me susceptible to melancholy. I’m not experiencing any symptoms other than wanting to sleep all the time. I have no desire to cook. All I want to eat is junk food and copious amounts of fresh produce.
Now I’m going back to work. I’ve made meticulous lists to follow in my bullet journal. Things are going to be on autopilot for a while.