Editorial note: This is me sharing what I go through at the end of a project. I’m not complaining. I have nothing by gratitude that I get to run a business where I do what I want, the way I want to do it. But there’s a reality check that goes with it. That’s what I’m talking about today.
The Hardest Part of My Job
A while back I wrote about my favorite part of work which, unsurprisingly, is doing the creative work itself. Today I want to touch on the worst part. I just released a book that’s important to me and the future of my business, and now the black hole that lays at the intersection of depression, introversion, and writing is creeping up on me.
Every time I finish a writing project I experience a mild wave of depression. It’s not because I’m a little sad that the work is over. There’s no remorse that it didn’t turn out well. I think it’s more like adrenal fatigue setting it. Toward the end of the project I get keyed up, so when I’m able to let go it just knocks the wind out of me emotionally. I was prepared for that when I completed this book, but there’s the second part to contend with: the introversion.
Being a writer is a solitary job, and most of the time being a publisher is too. It’s a lot of accounting, marketing, and copywriting. The only time I need to deal with people is right after a product launch. I can make sure that the product description is clear, but inevitably someone will think of something I didn’t cover and ask a question. There will be people who don’t read the description and just ask you something that’s spelled out right there. I can check everything fifteen times before making a product live, and there can still be a technical glitch. And it’s not that it’s a big deal, or that I dislike talking to people. It’s that, as an introvert, that contact with strangers is incredibly draining.
Depression, Introversion, and Writing
So I’m already depressed because the project is over, then I have to deal with people which takes away more spoons. Not a complaint, but a reality. This is why I try to drop back for a few days after a big launch. If I could, I’d disappear off the internet for a week. Someday, I’m going to do exactly that and outsource customer support to Bangalore or something.