Do you have a large social circle or just a few good friends? As I am an introverted hermit with a full menu of anxiety disorders, I have a small circle of friends. It’s not that I wouldn’t enjoy having regular interactions with more people in theory. Meeting new people, maintaining those relationships, and just being social on the most basic level costs a lot of spoons.
It becomes a question of quality over quantity. What I need in my life aren’t raw numbers. I need people that energize me. That doesn’t always equate to supporting me; one of my best friends challenges me at every turn, which keeps me honest and forces me to be better. A lot of the time it means that I’m excited about what they’re doing, and that inspires me to find the joy in what I’m doing.
It comes down to the desire to be understood. There are two ways that I could achieve that. The first would be to change myself, so that I’m more palatable to a wider range of people. It would require me being more accessible and outgoing. The second is to find people who get me. The few that understand what makes me tic, respect my needs, and make the effort to see me for who I am. That’s more valuable to me than a million loose acquaintances.
The Merry Writer is a writer’s game on Twitter run by Ari Meghlen (@arimeghlen) and Rachel Poli (@RPoli3). Each day there’s a new question, and each month there’s a new theme. In these posts I expand upon the answers that I’ve posted on my Twitter.