April 29 2020: There’s a plot twist in this plan to get excited about projects in order to maintain focus. I also suffer from depression. The kind that creeps up on me, so I don’t realize I’m in it until I’m deeply in it. Depression sucks the joy out of absolutely everything. There’s been plenty to be depressed about in the past (checks calendar) 44 days. I’m realizing that’s enough to make it difficult for me to work. Executive function deficit is just a multiplier.
Yeah, I’m feeling particularly screwed right now. Yet on I go. I’m determined to keep finding a way forward, even if I need to make a new plan every day, or every hour of every day. Find what works, do that until it stops working, and find something else. This is just the way things are right now.
A Novel Epiphany
A minor epiphany I had while reading Agnes Gray: I don’t like my protagonist’s name. There is a very clear picture of her in my head, I know her appearance, her mannerisms, and her voice. The name I’ve got attached to her at present does not match that.
It makes me wonder how that affects the way I’m approaching her as a character, and working on the novel overall. The main character’s name ought to be strong enough that it could be the title of the book. Not that I’m necessarily going to do that, but it’s a standard I’m setting for myself.
Now the hunt for a new name begins.
April 29 2020
- If you get anything out of these blog posts, consider buying me a coffee. The money goes toward rent and groceries, to offset the time spent blogging instead of doing paying writing work. And please, leave comments, share with other people on social media, and help to spread the world.
- This week I’m avoiding the outside world by writing about my favorite professional wrestling promotions. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to become a full-time wrestling blog.
- Wrestling is not fake. It is choreographed and the outcomes are predetermined, just like your favorite scripted televisions shows, action movies, and music video dance routines.
- I am checking email and Twitter DMs twice a day, once after lunch and once after dinner EEST (UTC +3).
- The majority of my time is spent writing and reading.
- Today is Day 44 in isolation.