As much as I’d like my life right now to be focused on writing, reading, and cooking, it’s all mindfulness and adrenal fatigue.
The other day I left the apartment to do laundry. It was a short walk to the building next door, but I was keenly aware of what I was not touching. I put on light winter gloves and had a packet of alcohol wipes. The door swings outward into the hall. I stepped through and pushed it shut with my elbow. I went downstairs without touching the hand rail or the wall. Pushed open the door to the lobby, and the door outside, with my shoulder.
When I got next door I used a wipe to open the door into the lobby, the hallway, and the laundry room. With a fresh wipe I scrubbed down the handles, knobs, and buttons on the machines. Once I got things started I set the timer on my phone to remind me when to change things out. The same protocols were used on the way back to the apartment. I immediately washed my hands, wiped down my phone, keys, gloves, laundry basket, and then washed my hands again.
Repeat this going back to move clothes from the washer to the dryer, and again to get things from the dryer and back to the apartment.
Again, I’m high-risk because of my chronic respiratory issues. A month ago I’d have considered my behavior to be outlandish and paranoid. Now I worry about not taking precautions far enough. We didn’t have that much laundry. I originally wanted to wait another week, do a double load. Katie pointed out that there were things that needed washing that couldn’t be hand-washed in the bathroom sink.
Mindfulness and Adrenal Fatigue
Mindfulness is a purposeful awareness of one’s experiences and surroundings. It’s supposed to be practiced without judgment. I can’t say that I was evaluating things as good or bad, but the fact that any surface could be contaminated has to count as judgment. I’m not even judging my neighbors. It’s not necessarily their bad habits or poor decision making that I fear. It’s the possibility that they could have been in contact with someone not taking this seriously. Mindfulness outside of the apartment has been stressful.
Add to this the amount of anger I’m carrying around because of the news. The toxic combination of arrogance and ignorance is infuriating. I mean, the pastor of a megachurch in Florida held services in defiance of social distancing orders, was arrested, and then had the audacity to call it religious persecution? The whole spitting thing? Politicians — a particular quote-unquote politician — who demands praise for closing the barn door after all of the horses have gotten out? Arrrgh.